Vaginismus is a condition where the pelvic floor muscles of the vagina tighten when penetration is attempted, causing pain on penetration, or prevent penetration completely. The woman does not directly control this muscle contraction and may even want to insert something into her vagina, even though her body does not.
Vaginismus is a psychologically caused condition. This means that there is nothing physically wrong with the vagina, but the subconcsious does not want anything to penetrate it. This could be because of many many reasons, including past sexual abuse, trauma, strict religious upbringing, low self esteem, fear of being hurt, problems with partner, trust issues, depression and anxiety etc. Sometimes the reasons may not be clear at all. Whatever the cause, the pain is very real. No sufferer of vaginismus should be told that it’s ‘all in her head’, or ‘she just needs to relax’.
- Does it mean no penetration at all?
No. Some women are able to have vaginal sex, but it is painful. Some women are able to insert fingers or use tampons. Some women aren’t able to insert anything at all.
- Can you have it even if you’ve had pleasurable vaginal sex before?
Yes! There are two types of vaginismus; primary vaginismus (where penetration has never been achieved) and secondary vaginismus (where ‘normal’ penetration had been achieved in the past). Causes can be the same as primary vaginismus.
It is, but there’s no quick fix. Most of the work is treating the cause of the anxiety around penetration. Treatments include using dilators to help overcome fear of penetration, psychosexual therapy, relaxation techniques and Kegel exercises. Things may take time, but there’s no rush! There’s nothing wrong with having vaginismus!
- Can you orgasm/have an enjoyable sex life with vaginismus?
Of course! There’s a reason we have clitorises! One of the best ways to start combating vaginismus is by self exploration and masturbation. There are also many ways to have sex with a partner, including oral, massage, manual, toys, or anything at all that makes you feel good!
Feel free to ask if you still have questions!
