IMAlive is a live online network that uses instant messaging to respond to people in crisis. People need a safe place to go during moments of crisis and intense emotional pain.
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RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) also has an online hotline at http://online.rainn.org/
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» Suicide crisis prompts remote First Nation to declare state of emergency
OTTAWA — Two recent deaths among the members of the Neskantaga First Nation have prompted the remote northern Ontario community to declare a state of emergency in the hope of getting help to prevent the spread of suicide.
The First Nation northeast of Thunder Bay has seen two of its members die over the last two weeks, throwing the fragile community of 300 into grief and fear for the stability of other families.
Chief Peter Moonias said that just as the community was burying the first victim — a man in his 30s — they learned of the death of a 19-year-old from Neskantaga living in Thunder Bay.
Moonias said police have yet to declare the second death a suicide, but he suspects they soon will.
The problems come just a few months after another young man took his life there in December, a tragedy that prompted the community to close ranks and put its youth on suicide watch to prevent additional deaths.
“One suicide, we could have handled. … Not easily, but we could have come back,” said Moonias.
But the suicides are coming so close together that almost no one in the community of about 300 has been left untouched, he said. And now, they can’t cope.
“Now we have nothing left. We have hardly anybody who is not affected in the community. The community situation right now is in a state of shock. A lot of them are wondering what will happen next. They live in fear that something else will happen.”
Community and regional leaders decided to declare the state of emergency Wednesday to get help from the Red Cross and the Ontario government’s emergency management office.
Moonias said he was also hoping for help from any level of government in putting together a long-term plan that will confront Neskantaga’s serious problems with addiction to prescription drugs.
He’s also hoping that other First Nations will heed Neskantaga’s cry for help.
“It will be a devastating thing for my people if nobody listens. Like we don’t exist, you know?”
The Ojibway chief estimates that more than half the community’s adults are addicted to OxyContin or other painkillers.
The limited health care resources made available to Neskantaga to deal with addictions have been insufficient and have not worked well, Moonias added.
“Let’s help these young people,” he said. “I don’t want this to continue another day, another month.”
Federal Health Minister Leona Aglukkaq promised the community the help they need.
“Our hearts go out to those who have lost friends and loved ones to suicide,” she said in a statement Wednesday.
“Health Canada will work closely with the community and send both additional nursing and counselling staff to assist during this difficult time.”
The suicide rate in Neskantaga and surrounding First Nations is far higher than the national average, as communities struggle to deal with isolation, drug and alcohol addictions, poverty, poor housing and a loss of cultural identity.
Now, natural resource companies and the federal and provincial governments have taken a new interest in the community’s health as they seek to develop the region for mining. The massive and pristine Ring of Fire is rich with base metals, but First Nations need to be supportive of mining development in order for it to go ahead. They also need to be healthy in order to form a work force.
Last year, Health Canada added some extra funding to deal with addictions in the Ring of Fire region.
But relapses are frequent, and the pace of suicide and attempted suicide has been on the increase, Moonias said.
Normally, a declaration of emergency by a First Nation triggers action by Emergency Management Ontario, which is in turn reimbursed and supported by Aboriginal Affairs in Ottawa.
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» Suicide as Genocide - ICTMN.com
Genocide has found a new disguise: that of adolescent suicide. According to the Indian Health Service, Natives who fall between 10 and 24 years of age have the highest rate of suicide of all racial groups. Despite this epidemic, we’re still failing to address it head on.
Talking about suicide is difficult. There’s a stigma attached to it. Those who’ve attempted suicide are often branded as attention seekers. Others view them as selfish, or insane. However, the explanation for why one attempts to take their own life is much more complicated, especially where Natives are concerned.
While a suicide attempt may, for example, manifest itself as a final solution to being bullied, or heartbreak over a broken relationship, the act itself is a culmination of events that took place over an extended period. The young person who commits suicide has been fighting to stay alive for a very long time, often suffering in silence.
Native youth, especially those living on a reservation, face a litany of serious issues that put them at risk for suicide, including a family history of it, substance abuse, depression, stressful life events (like domestic violence, abuse, neglect, or living in a crime-addled, impoverished community), a history of previous suicide attempts, incarceration, or exposure to the suicidal behavior of others. All of these factors are listed by the CDC as increasing the likelihood of suicidal behavior. Every one of these factors may also be a direct result of intergenerational trauma that our youth face just by virtue of them being Native and alive in 2013.
These grim, complex challenges would be daunting for an adult to overcome- yet we expect our youth to face them, and overall we don’t provide them with an adequate support system. It’s no wonder that many of our young people are stuck in survival mode.
Sometimes the fear of death is outweighed by the pain of existence. When I attempted suicide as an adolescent, my life was spinning out of control. I had given birth just days before. My husband and I had broken up. I was jobless and dead broke. All my troubles were exaggerated by a recurring memory I had of being sexually assaulted several years earlier. I had never received counseling for it, and I blamed myself. I didn’t know that I was suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I wasn’t equipped to deal with postpartum depression either. I had never even heard of either medical condition before I was diagnosed and treated for them, after my hospitalization.
When I attempted, I didn’t want to die. Hopeless, and alone, all I prayed for was an end to my misery. The seconds leading up to my attempt lasted an eternity. There was no sound- only the hollow thump of my heart behind its ribcage. I didn’t fully realize what I’d done until I woke up in the ambulance. A tribal cop’s voice shook as he held me and begged me not to close my eyes.
“Not again,” he cried.
Suicide is not romantic, and exacts no revenge. It’s an ugly, blunt stick. Just ask anyone who’s experienced the horror of finding the mangled body of a loved one who’s taken their own life. Did you know that when someone hangs themselves, their bowels evacuate? Having a large hollow tube rammed down your throat while a roomful of strangers watch you gag and vomit out of your nose is anything but glamorous. Others survive, but only as brain dead vegetables, or are disfigured for life. I was spared, in spite of myself.
Had I been successful, I never would have experienced the joy of raising my children, or being the first member of my family to graduate from college. I never would have become a science professor, or a Tribal Judge, or a published writer. Every single person I’ve been able to help since that day is a testimony to how thankful I am to the Creator to have survived my own demise.
Life has many peaks and valleys, and there are still thorns among the roses, but that fateful night’s seemingly unbearable pain was but a shadow compared to the sunrise I witnessed that next morning, hooked up to machines, scared for the life I suddenly held dear. After all these years, even if I had accomplished nothing at all, one more burst of laughter among friends—just one more spring rain—has made the entire journey worth it.
As Natives we can no longer afford to remain silent about the suicide epidemic befalling Indian country. While we rush to and fro, absorbed in our smartphones and lost in our own problems, it is preying on our children. We cannot continue to allow our youth to fall through the cracks of a broken healthcare system that fails to adequately detect mental health problems and treat them. Money and federal policy aren’t the final answer though. After all, time spent with a young person costs nothing, and that’s what they need most.
Suicide, at its core- is a crisis of spirit. Our sacred hoop needs mending. Youth instilled with the knowledge of what it means to be Native, and just how important they are to the future of our people, will not take their own lives. We must end this cultural hemorrhage, and live our values system. Losing just one more young life is too heavy a price.
Ruth Hopkins (Sisseton-Wahpeton and Mdewakanton Dakota, Hunkpapa Lakota) is a writer, blogger, ethnoscientist, Tribal Judge for the Sisseton Wahpeton Oyate, and the Tribal Colleges Liaison Manager for the University of North Dakota (UND) and North Dakota State University (NDSU) via North Dakota EPSCoR (Experimental Program to Stimulate Competitive Research). Her first horror novella will be released in 2013.Follow her on Twitter.
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» Utah School District's Response to 14-Year-Old Gay Teen's Tragic Suicide Is Deplorable
TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE, HOMOPHOBIA
On Thursday, November 29th, the principal of Phuong Tan’s son’s school called her at work to tell her that her son, 14-year-old David Phan, had been suspended and needed to be picked up. When she asked why he’d been suspended, she was brushed off — “perhaps because of her heavy accent,” Tran told The Salt Lake Tribune. It’s reported that “what she understood” was that “another student had complained and when district officials searched David’s backpack, they found a condom.” Furthermore, ”[the principal] told me: we will discuss on Tuesday.”
But when Tuesday came around, it was far too late. On Thursday, Phuong Tan took David home, made him lunch, and, at David’s insistence, returned to work, at which point David, “an avid outdoorsman who worked at local gun shows, practiced at local firing ranges and wanted to serve his country in the Army,” then took a 22-caliber pistol with him to a pedestrian bridge near Bennion Junior High’s campus and killed himself in front of his stunned peers. He’d left a note behind in his room reading: “I had a great life but I must leave.”
It’s impossible to know what specifically triggered David, but David’s classmates attest that David was frequently bullied in school, and Queerty reports that on November 28th, a boy had sent David a singing telegram from another boy, “and though he laughed along with his classmates, his cousin revealed that he was indeed mortified.”
David Phan’s family, however, has always been accepting of his sexual orientation. Queerty reports that ”David came out to his older brother and other family members a year ago. Then about three months ago, he came out to his mother and finally his father, Nhuan Phan, who hugged him, told him he loved him and wanted him to be safe.” As reported by the Salt Lake Tribune, David’s family said David was “well-loved with a strong family support system, but could not deal with the bullying and the burden of being a gay Asian student in a school they believe did not support him.”
The lack of support David received from the school during his short life was, unfathomably, amped up in the wake of his death.
Ben Horsely, the Granite School District Spokesperson, is called out by name in a letter delivered to the Superintendent by the ACLU essentially asking Horsely to stop talking about David Phen. On November 30th, Horsely told local media that David had been receiving counseling at school and had spoken to counselors “about other issues in his personal life” but had “purportedly failed to report the bullying to counselors and denied being bullied to counselors in response to their direct questions.” (Although any good counselor knows that bullied kids are often reluctant to report the bullying in fear of attracting additional bullying!) Horsely insisted David was having “significant personal challenges on multiple fronts” and that he had “mental health” issues.
This is problematic on two levels: first, the content of his counseling sessions is, legally, confidential information that should not be released to anybody, let alone the press. Secondly, this was how David’s parents learned their son had been in counseling at all.
David’s father, Nhuan Phan, said: “We have a right to know as parents. Nobody told us anything.” Horsley “clarified” that David was seeing a “guidance counselor, not a mental health specialist” and that the school was apparently only obligated to notify the family “when needed” (which the ACLU disputes).
Horsley even went so far as to tell the media “that David had been searched for weapons on November 29” which the ACLU notes was clearly an attempt to “imply the school had some reason to suspect that David might have a weapon.” From the ACLU’s letter:
These improper statements are particularly disconcerting because none of the District’s alleged concerns about David’s mental and emotional health had ever been communicated to David’s parents before this tragic event occurred. By leaking purported information about David to the media, the District appears to be attempting to smear David and his family in order to avoid answering questions about whether the District failed in its obligations to protect David from the bullying he reportedly experienced for several years at the hands of other students…
Before setting out the legal problems with these public statements by the District, it must be pointed out that their apparent motivation is extremely problematic on a human level. Specifically, the District’s public statements in the immediate wake of this tragedy seem to be motivated by a desire to shield itself from criticism or liability for failing to protect David from bullying. Even worse, District officials selectively released confidential and protected information about David in a manner making it difficult not to conclude that it was trying to cast suspicion on David and his character…. now is certainly not the time for the District to start public maneuvering and posturing at the expense of a family facing such a devastating loss. No amount of media spin will change the underlying facts.
In the rest of the letter, the ACLU lays out the legal violations made by the school district and implores them to stop talking about David Phan. Horsley is a staunch Republican, passionateMormon (see: Horsley’s twitter feed) and graduate of the George W. Romney Institute of Public Management at Brigham Young University (a University which prohibits anybody from “promoting homosexual relations as morally acceptable.”) Horsley has served on Republican Party commissions and ran (unsuccessfully) for office in the Utah House of Representatives in 2010, during which he declared that Arizona was the only state handling immigration laws properly and effectively. Did Horsley’s background impact his perspective on anti-gay bullying or was he solely motivated by saving face? (Today, Horsley has been kept busy by another situation in his district involving an 11-year-old bringing a gun to school for “protection” from another “Connecticut style incident.”)
We also have a lack of anti-bullying legislation throughout Utah: according to sexetc, public schools in Utah do not have a Safe Schools Law, anti-bullying laws to protect students based on sexual orientation or gender identity, or a statewide anti-discrimination law that includes sexual orientation or gender identity. As David’s parents suggested, it’s difficult to imagine that David could’ve ever felt fully accepted in a prominently Mormon and prominently white county with no anti-discrimination protections for gay students. Then Horsley exacerbated the situation after David’s death by showing no respect for the humanity of David’s grieving parents.
But David was a boy, a teenage boy with his entire life ahead of him, a life tragically cut short. Friends who spoke to the press at a candlelight vigil held in David’s honor on November 29th describe David as “a kind, friendly soul.” Fellow ninth-grader Hunter Evensen said David was “one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever known” but that kids picked on him and called him names. Kaleb King, another ninth-grader, said “I hated when people [bullied him]. I felt so bad for him.”
Now David’s family is working with Steven Ha, an activist who works with both the Vietnamese and gay communities, to assemble a group of local gay activists to address suicide prevention for gay youth. Ha told The Salt Lake Tribune: “We’re not interested in suing but working with credible sources. That’s how we want David to be remembered.” Citing letters he’s gotten from other Asian teenagers who have considered suicide, Ha notes: “We don’t want another incident like this to happen.” (Those interested in helping can email him at steven.ha.usa@gmail.com.)
On the day of David’s funeral, his family released the following statement about their son’s brief, brilliant and promising time on this earth:
“David was an adored son, beloved by his close knit parents, older brother, and large extended family. David’s home life was full of support and unconditional love. His parents are devastated to have lost their young son who rarely left their side. Many of his peers and members of the community have confirmed that David was an amazing student and extraordinary friend.
David shielded his parents from the horror he was facing and his negative experiences at Bennion Jr. High. The last few days have been an absolute living nightmare to learn that he was bullied in school where he was supposed to be in a safe learning environment. It is time for us to turn the hate David endured by bullies into a learning experience to strengthen a divided community. Let us not deny the numerous accounts that David was a victim of serious bullying at school. Allow his family and friends the ability to heal by us all taking accountability and to move towards conversations and practices that will enable us to prevent other children from enduring this unbearable pain.”
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I don’t think suicidal people get enough credit for not acting on their suicidal thoughts.
This post is for all of you who have survived the urge to end your life, either coming out the other side or still fighting to stay alive.
I noticed how when someone has a physical illness such as cancer, and they come out the other side or even remission, they are able to celebrate surviving. I think all of the survivors of being suicidal should too.
Congratulations, and keep on fighting.
